Apr 21, 2014

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Top 9 Offbeat Stories of the Day – July 18th, 2012

4-inch thick film…, Unknown Mystery Creatures Washing…, world’s largest p*nis frisked…, Utah man’s confessional obituary …,  An Iroquois Lacrosse Squad Beat Team USA…, The good news…, voice actor from Futurama…, world’s first cybernetic hate crime unfolds…

1. 4-inch thick film of bugs on MN highway leads to crash.

A snowplow was used to clear a Minnesota road after a four-inch-thick film of crushed bugs caused slippery conditions that resulted in a head-on collision, officials said. The accident happened Sunday night around 11:30 p.m. on the Hastings Bridge, about 30 miles from Minneapolis.

2. Unknown Mystery Creatures Washing Ashore in Hawaii by the Millions – July 15, 2012

“It’s the first time I’ve seen this, I’ve never seen it before,” says beach goer Bruce Kuwana. “It’s really weird, it looks like you want to eat it like a little berry,” says beach goer Sonya Lake. “There are probably millions I’d say,” says beach goer Scott Paddock.

3. Man with world’s largest p*nis frisked by TSA

Jonah Falcon, who claims the world’s largest p*nis, recently had his “weapon of mass conception” mistaken for a “weapon of mass destruction.” He was frisked by TSA at the San Francisco International Airport because of a bulging object in his pants.

 4. Utah man’s confessional obituary owns up to life of pranks

Val Patterson said his life motto was “Anything for a laugh.” And after the 59-year-old died of throat cancer last week, he owned up to a few humorous events from his life.

5. An Iroquois Lacrosse Squad Beat Team USA For The First Time Ever – “while there are roughly 150,000 competition-level U.S. lacrosse players, the Iroquois Nationals pull together a team from only 86 qualified competitors”

In an upset that undoubtedly has laxbros crying into their Sperry Top-Siders, the Iroquois Nationals defeated Team USA at the U-19 World Championships in Finland today 15-13. It’s the first time the Six Nations national team has beaten Team USA in field competition, and it’s an especially meaningful win after the Iroquois Nationals were unable to attend the 2010 Worlds due to bureaucratic nonsense in the U.S. and U.K. state departments, forcing the team to forfeit the competition. It was also a notable loss for Team USA, which before today had never lost a match to a team other than Canada.

6. The good news: He killed the [protected] bear to save children. The bad news: The bear BBQ he mentioned on FB the day before.

Some residents in Estes Park are upset over the killing of a 300-pound black bear. The bear was shot and killed last Wednesday by the property manager of the Elk Horn Lodge. Gary O’Dell says he had no other choice but to shoot the bear when it showed aggression. O’Dell says children were around when the bear snarled and stomped its paws.

 7. Billy West, voice actor from Futurama, on what Popeye has in common with Tuvan Throat Singing

8. What may be the world’s first cybernetic hate crime unfolds in French McDonald’s: “He angrily grabbed my eyeglass, and tried to pull it off my head. The eyeglass is permanently attached and does not come off my skull without special tools.”

Steve Mann, the “father of wearable computing,” has been physically assaulted while visiting a McDonalds in Paris, France. The Canadian university professor was at the restaurant with his family when three different McDonalds employees took exception to his “Digital Eye Glass” device and attempted to forcibly remove it from his head. Mann was then physically removed from the store by the employees, along with having his support documentation destroyed.

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One Response to Top 9 Offbeat Stories of the Day – July 18th, 2012

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