At a party last night and my buddy disappeared, this morning we found this.
Look what I found at work tomorrow.
The best things in life start with the letter “S”.
The best way to never lose luggage.
Santa Claus is coming to town…
When dat booty so nice it brings Albert Einstein back to life…
“Write once sentence about a family member and draw a picture about it”.
I bought my wife a necklace for Christmas. The guy asked me if I would like it gift wrapped. I told him yes and asked him to make it look as horrible as possible. He pulled out a roll of tape and said “as you wish sir”.
Of course it’s on the bottom shelf…
I owe you my life.
The true King of the north.
Insert holy spirit here.
When I find out most of the people I know are having kids I immediately think of this.