Printed and attached to wife’s spraying air freshener while she wasn’t home. Spits acid every 30 minutes.

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Vintage Birth-control: Only 99% effective.

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Princess Derp.

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Ahh. Neighborly love.

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I wish it was warmer..

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She is shocked about being pregnant!

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€50!? Over my dead body!

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Every single time.

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I’m not like most girls.

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How to make yourself a mug of tea.

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At work today I secretly watched a fifth grader add the letter “F” to art and quietly snicker to himself all the way back to class. Classic.

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The moment my co worker realized the Cageman is omnipresent.

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Karma Works in Mysterious Ways.

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Mugshot of the year goes to.

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Someone in marketing is getting fired.

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Getting ready for Valentines day.

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Nailed it!

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Yet another unrealistic standard for women.

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My roommate draws on the little dry erase boards on our fridge sometimes. This his favorite variation of Benedict Cumberbatch.

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As a lifelong Southerner, this couldn’t be more accurate.

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Onion butt.

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