The Thing 
The next time the doctor keeps you waiting…
Pony Sized Dog or Dog Sized Pony?
That’s a nice song you’ve got there.. Mind if I yell my name on it?
What the….? Who uses red paint for a base color for a wood chipper?
My three year old finally beat her brother at Candy Land. He was not okay.
My friend went solo on a summer trip with two other couples…
If life shuts a door..
Any farther and it would’ve been closer to the neighbor’s house.
Well, uh… I guess that’s a good motto.
Shit was going DOWN at my local fro-yo shop.
Found this today at work.
This guy lives in 3017.
This is a real nail salon in SF.
Where my treats at yooooo?
What did I ever do to you?
You got it, dude.
I didn’t expect to find religion walking through the parking lot, but here we are.
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