The thing about hipsters is that though nobody really seems to know what they are and what they stand for, everybody knows at least one hipster. With their unconventional clothes, their obscure references to barely known books and movies, and their general air of mystery, hipsters fascinate us all. Well, if you feel a little hipster this spring, why not let the world know with a totally hipster tattoo that is guaranteed to grab second looks? And even if you are the most mainstream, un-hipstery person alive, read on, and join us in being shocked silly.
Nothing says skulls like a skull covered in, erm, dozens of skulls? Be sure to shave at least half of your head for this tattoo to play out in all its horror. Or get a mohawk like this dude.
What’s that? You don’t have any hair to shave off? Don’t worry, hair disadvantaged people can be hipsters too. You just have to know how to play your bald patch with humour, like letting the hair at the base of your head be the moustache for your tattoo. Or if humour is not your thing, you can have Voldemort controlling you from the back of your head. Just be sure he doesn’t end up killing you. Or if ancient mythology is your thing, you could have Cyclops glaring at people walking behind you. Don’t you love how the fold in this guy’s skin gives Cylops a neat little poker face? You know those annoying people at the movies who sit behind you and talk all the while? This back-of-head tattoos will certainly shut them up.
If heads are not weird enough for you, what about ears?
This beautiful picture of a many-colored bird feather right behind you ear gives the message of diversity, peace, and love for all. It’s unusual, but even more unusual would be to have your image tattooed right inside your ear. Do you think you’re brave enough to have a tiny dragon skull fitted on the inside your ear? Or maybe a space ship would suit your tastes better? Just remember that decorating your ears with piercings are passé , and tattoos are the thing to go for now.
Another awesome tattoo idea is a tongue tattoo. Since your tongue is the organ you use for speech, be sure to select an image that represents the type of things you want to say to the world, like a green flower maybe. Too simple for you? Okay, how about a more detailed flower then? And get the whole surface area of your tongue covered while you are at it. If that is still not complex enough, you could consider getting a whole Renaissance type painting in technicolor for the inside of your mouth, as long as you don’t mind a part of your looking like the ceiling of a chapel.
If it is shock you are looking for in body art, you can express your opinion on the future of humanity with this horrifying tattoo of a foetus x-ray on your underbelly. This will be all the more effective if you are a woman:
A couple of undead vampires on your arms are pretty hipster too. However, we suggest you avoid the the twinkly fairy Twilight types of vampires. With them, your run the risk of looking less like a hipster and more like a 13 year old girl.
Even further down the horror lane, I really liked this picture of a person’s spine struggling to escape from his back. That’s exactly what my backbone wants to do at the end of a long, hard day at the computer.
Your armpit, too, can be used as a canvas to express your very hipster exasperation with the world. Yes, this is indeed a picture of a pile of excrements with a halo on it. For those who don’t get it, it’s explained right there on the tattoo itself, in plain English: Holy Shit!
Or you could cut out the visual jokes and just go for the obscure, like this tattoo below. Good luck explaining to people what it means, though.
If you are in a particularly dark mood these days, maybe having this emo face on your arm will cheer you up. Oh, sorry, my bad. It’s not an emo dude, it’s Edward Scissorhands. Way to make a 90s movie reference, hipster!
If sleep is too mainstream for you, you might want these eyes that stay awake and unblinking even while you are snoozing. If nothing else, they will scare away elderly Twipires that have taken to watching you sleep (Hah! Two twilight references in one post)
Animal tattoos are a favourite of hipsters, with their ability to express a variety of human emotions. For example, this dolphin on an arm chair smoking a hookah expresses, erm, well, I’m not exactly sure what it expresses, but I love the detail of the smoke coming out of the blow-hole.
If you are scared of wall lizards, embrace your fear like a true hipster with this picture of a giant lizard on your back. I am just hoping this creature doesn’t exist outside of this tattoo.
And of course, nothing says maturity like converting your navel into certain parts of animal anatomy. Never grow up, hipsters, and never lose your sense of humour!
Another interesting hipster tattoo is this picture of a scary face on your throat. What makes it interesting is that this is a tattoo that will actually get more effective as you grow older. As your neck begins to wrinkle, this face will grow meaner and scarier. That’ll be something fun to terrify your grandkids with.
If you are asked to picture a hipster, the first thing you’ll probably think of is thick black frame glasses. So you may want to consider wearing your hipster status on your sleeves, by wearing your hipster glasses on the skin around your eyes. They wont do anything for your eyesight, but at least they will ensure that you never ever go back to the hated mainstream.
Before I end, I’ll just insert a word of caution. What seems like a hilarious thing to do on a night out with your friends may possibly seem like not such a cool idea the next morning. Unfortunately, unlike a Vegas wedding, a tattoo is not annullable. And unlike sharpies, they don’t come off with a bath or two. So get your hipster tattoo by all means this weekend, only make sure that you don’t wake up on Monday morning looking like this guy: