Top 10 Offbeat Stories of the Day – April 26th 2012

Scots village Dull to officially twin…,  Ukrainian girl becomes ‘Real Life Barbie Doll”…, A Unicorn. Kind of…, Swallowed by Sinkhole in China…, Weapon of Mass Instruction…,  psychedelic drugs can help patients face death…, spank a nun…, Woman with 5-foot scythe robs…, anyone here a marine biologist…, 5 Gender Stereotypes…

1. Scots village Dull to officially twin with US town Boring

In a move which is unlikely to set pulses racing, the Perthshire village and the Oregon logging town are discussing linking to become Dull and Boring. Locals from around the Dull area became aware of the equally-unfortunately named American town and decided to pursue a smile-inducing formal link-up.

2. Ukrainian girl undergoes numerous surgeries to become ‘Real Life Barbie Doll”

This is 21-going-on-6-year-old Valeria Lukyanova (links to her Ukranian Facebook-y thing with LITERALLY 10,000 more photos of Little Ms. Vain). Valeria always dreamed of being a real life Barbie doll. And now, after numerous surgeries, she’s finally realized her dream AND CAN HOPEFULLY MOVE ON TO ACTUALLY DREAMING ABOUT SOMETHING WORTHWHILE. Wow, of all the dreams in the world to come true of course it’s squandered on the girl who wants to look like Barbie and not everybody hoping for a cure for cancer. “That little bitch.” *pointing* That girl said it, not me!

3. A Unicorn. Kind of. 

In 1933 Dr. W.F. Dove, a biologist at the University of Maine, conducted an experiment to find out if he could create a “unicorn bull.” He removed the two knots of tissue on the side of the bull’s head that would normally have developed into horns and transplanted them to the center of the forehead. The experiment was a success. A single, massive horn grew there.

4. Girl Talking on Phone Swallowed by Sinkhole in China

A girl talking to her mobile phone sank into the ground after the pavement broke into a sinkhole in the city of Xi’an in northern China. Soonafter, a cab driver comes to the rescue and descends into the hole in order to bring her out.

5. Meet the Book Tank, a ‘Weapon of Mass Instruction’

When Argentinian artist Raul Lemes off drives around the streets of Buenos Aires, Argentina, in a tank, people don’t run away from him. Rather, they walk right up and stand directly in front of the vehicle’s barrel—that’s where most of the books are.

6. How psychedelic drugs can help patients face death

Pam Sakuda was 55 when she found out she was dying. Shortly after having a tumor removed from her colon, she heard the doctor’s dreaded words: Stage 4; metastatic. Sakuda was given 6 to 14 months to live. Determined to slow her disease’s insidious course, she ran several miles every day, even during her grueling treatment regimens.

7. How to properly spank a nun

Funny how no one ever talks about the nuns. I suppose it makes sense. After all, Catholic nuns are so rarely embroiled in sex scandals. They are never caught pants down in the rectory with a 10-year-old altar boy, teaching him of the “mystical secretions” of the Lord.

 8. Woman with 5-foot scythe robs convenience store

According to the police report for the incident, the woman walked into the store in the 7300 block of Aurora Avenue North around 3:25 a.m. April 20, grabbed a Four Loko and walked out without paying, despite protestations from the clerk.

Police: Woman with 5-foot scythe robs Green Lake convenience store

 9. “Is anyone here a marine biologist?”

A gray whale found dead in Washington state’s Puget Sound had been feeding on shrimp and also had some debris, including a golf ball, in its stomach, but scientists don’t know what killed the animal.

 10. 5 Gender Stereotypes That Used To Be the Exact Opposite

The hardest stereotypes to break are the ones that are so old as to go all the way back to hunter-gatherer days. After all, how can you argue with biology? Women carry the babies, men have the upper body strength to tackle gazelles. Nobody made that up out of thin air.

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