At a party last night and my buddy disappeared, this morning we found this.

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Look what I found at work tomorrow.

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The best things in life start with the letter “S”.

Jesus is…

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The best way to never lose luggage.

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Santa Claus is coming to town…

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When dat booty so nice it brings Albert Einstein back to life…

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“Write once sentence about a family member and draw a picture about it”.

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I bought my wife a necklace for Christmas. The guy asked me if I would like it gift wrapped. I told him yes and asked him to make it look as horrible as possible. He pulled out a roll of tape and said “as you wish sir”.

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Of course it’s on the bottom shelf…

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I owe you my life.

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The true King of the north.

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Insert holy spirit here.

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When I find out most of the people I know are having kids I immediately think of this.

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Shit eating grin gonna get it.

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I trusted you.

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Disney, don’t stop!

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It’s two hours before the big Christmas party and I just noticed a detail on my sweater.

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True.

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bike.rar

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