*(Minor Restrictions)

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Man locks his head in a cage in an attempt to quit smoking. Wife has the key and only opens it for meals.

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When that co-worker you always eat lunch with is sick.

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I swear, one minute it was fine and then the next was like this.

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Wow, free WiFi.

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My coworker has been out sick for a week, today was payday.

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Sounds like my ex wife.

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When libraries troll their patrons.

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Valentine’s day is coming.

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I’m dating a microbiologist.

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My daughter wanted to go swing in the snow. She fell right out of her gloves.

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Just like real life.

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Universal rule when finding one of these: use it on your hand and then immediately on your face.

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Gonna have to call that repairman back.

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I can’t look at Belichick now without thinking of the Goonies lady.

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Things that tell the truth.

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This Amazon review.

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