You had one job.
The flight I was on had seat to seat messaging.
Sometimes I get angry about the way the rest of the country talks about Texas, then I drive past a sign like this and I have to shut up…
Bring me stuffing and the Wookie.
Build a man a fire, he’ll be warm for a day. set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
It’s a great deal and all, but…
So the Joker is jump starting a woman’s car outside of the bar I am drinking at.
Wendy’s knows I’m a fat f**k
What kind of sick bastard..
I surprised my gf with a romantic dinner.
My son’s first “date” looks like it’s going well…
My local barcade likes to make you laugh while you pee.
No thanks, Chipotle…
Target’s got jokes.
Best firework stand name… Ever.
Looks like someone had a rough day.
Cinderella’s nose job didn’t go as planned.
That’s so mean.
Whatever floats your goat…
Your mom and this textbook have a lot in common.
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