I am… The Casting Couch.

via

Aquariums make me super horny.

via

Had an ice storm a few days ago. My pumpkin didn’t seem very happy about it.

via

This was my costume for work. I’m a manager at a dispensary.

via

After my family refused to help me convince my dad to wear a pickle costume for Halloween, I bought one and sent it to him anyway. Meet my dad, Rick.

via

The jerk store called! My daughter as George Costanza.

via

Saw this kid dressed up as “Coronavirus” for Halloween.

via

Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally, Golly what a day.

via

That one year they let my boyfriend’s nephew dress himself for Halloween.

via

My husband and I dressed up as each other for Halloween.

via

I have to wear this outfit everyday for work. Yesterday was especially fun. A stranger asked me “What would you do if I killed your dog?”

via

Halloween meatloaf made by my Mum.

via

My buddy trying to keep the kids honest.

via

Wayne’s World, Party time! Excellent!

via

Incognito Mode

via

We got married three weeks ago.

via

Someone put this sign up on the speedometer in my neighbourhood.

via

Candy Shoot was a success!

via

Regarding naptime, I dissent.

via

It’s the end of the world. Have a drink with us.

via