This one might die trying.

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A Seaman’s Wet Dream.

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Do WHAT now?

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My parents threw me a belated birthday party at their house, and my Mom was confident she had the correct candles before I showed up.

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For Rent…

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Yeah haven’t made risotto in a while.

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Found this in the office.

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Store in LA has a life like wax statue to deter break-ins.

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Local Domino’s Pizza poking fun at your PSL addiction.

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My dad said my puppy looks like Richard Gere and I can’t unsee it.

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I thought she’d skipped leg day at first.

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Too much soap?

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Who remembers when fortune cookies actually had philosophical/motivational quotes?

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Gambled and lost.

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My grocery store stocks & labels pineapple upside down cake upside down.

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You are what you drink.

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