Man, this toothpaste seems really greasy and tastes like lanolin. But look at that sparkle! I wonder why I can’t feel the roof of my mouth? Mistakes were made.

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Visited the modern art museum today. Fascinating stuff!

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Shots fired by the local Barber shop.

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My wife left me in charge of the shower curtain.

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Hope there’s no full moon tonight.

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My 10 year old drew this, it gave me a good laugh.

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When I cancel my gym membership.

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“And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.”

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I don’t always receive packages from my farther, but when I do..

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“Hang up the TV” – On it boss!

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It’s almost that time of year ladies!

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Walmart has a monopoly on Mr.Monopoly.

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Probably could’ve thought of a more appetizing name for chocolate covered gummy bears.

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I’m not single and I got to pick one thing to decorate the apartment.

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Amazon pull-up bar review.

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When your dog gets out of prison.

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Say goodbye to toilet paper!

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