Calm down.

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As a parent, the best birthday card I’ve ever received. The toilet humor is strong in our house.

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Idiot of the century.

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My school just held an actual funeral for our rival highschool’s football team.

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There is something wrong with your medulla oblongata.

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My friend tried to use one of those “love meter” machines the other day, and it wasn’t working for him. I guess we’ll never know.

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Use the law suit, Luke.

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My lord is the light.

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What happens when you give an ENT doctor an IV cannula.

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Just gotta unlock one more character.

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Canopy in the background makes it look like DJ Khaled just graduated.

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2 local police were nice enough to stop and admire my sons costume. Made his day.

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Boss asked me to take down his Halloween decorations.

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My girlfriend picked the wrong parking spot.

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So much truth to this.

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It’s not just a coffee; it’s an experience.

Photo by Jon Tyson

He sits on the couch like this every time.

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Hello Dark NES my old friend..

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Somewhere, in a secret emergency meeting of celebrities.

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As a parent pushing 40, I’ve never related to a bumper sticker more…

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