Wife didn’t want anything to eat. I got home and went to the bathroom and came back to this.

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My toddlers have bit the fingers off Woody and now he’s permanently giving the finger.

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Our house plant…

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We all knew that one guy.

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I am Groot!

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One hell of a resume.

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It was wrapped in plastic so I couldn’t even fix it.

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How my teenage brother refills the tea box.

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‘OilyFans’ billboards show BP chief executive topless after earning millions.

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I prefer licking my money to count fingers.

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Sweatshirt making plans with the wall.

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I’d rather rent.

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I NEED TO PARK RIGHT NOW!

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Apple is really taking this “i” theme way too far.

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60% zombies?

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Bought a birthday present for Mom. Mom: “Did you get this on clearance?”

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I think my puppy might be broken… he is currently fast asleep.

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Tomato found at work today.

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We take for open are out.

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Sometimes combo signs don’t work well together.

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