This Elmo arrived in the mail like someone in the Sesame Street mafia was trying to send a message.
After sixteen years of driving past this sign, it finally happened.
Came home to my girlfriend today, turns out she cheated on me while I was out of town. The guy left me a note under the toilet seat, as per article 1, subsection 76 of the Bro Code.
My White Goodman cosplay.
Should I be excited or worried?
This container gets less fun the older I get.
Sign in a taxi cab.
Even the wheels on fake cars get jacked in this neighborhood.
I ask my husband to cut vents in the turkey pot pie.
His parents Dot and Matrix are so proud.
That’s no moon.
In the spirit of broken signs, I’ve also waited for this moment for years.
There are two types of coworkers.