As a parent, the best birthday card I’ve ever received. The toilet humor is strong in our house.
Idiot of the century.
My school just held an actual funeral for our rival highschool’s football team.
There is something wrong with your medulla oblongata.
My friend tried to use one of those “love meter” machines the other day, and it wasn’t working for him. I guess we’ll never know.
Use the law suit, Luke.
My lord is the light.
What happens when you give an ENT doctor an IV cannula.
Just gotta unlock one more character.
Canopy in the background makes it look like DJ Khaled just graduated.
2 local police were nice enough to stop and admire my sons costume. Made his day.
Boss asked me to take down his Halloween decorations.
My girlfriend picked the wrong parking spot.
So much truth to this.
It’s not just a coffee; it’s an experience.
He sits on the couch like this every time.
Hello Dark NES my old friend..
Somewhere, in a secret emergency meeting of celebrities.
As a parent pushing 40, I’ve never related to a bumper sticker more…
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