I’m American, and a tweet that I sent out was featured in an Australian newspaper, who thought I was English.

via

This is what happens when you leave your boyfriend alone for 5 mins..

via

All of my favorites.

via

Women confuse me. My girlfriend sent me out for groceries, and like any rational person, I thought that meant go get hats for the dogs. Turns out she was hungry.

via

Idiot was already taken.

via

Of course your mother can stay with us. Head up to the 3rd floor, the last door on the right..

via

This sign in my local pub.

via

Mike Trout in the dugout drinking out of a Space Jam Inspired bottle.

via

Our professor wears his hat and cape every time he conducts an experiment.

via

Science vs. Humanities.

via

Yeh, I know. Thanks for that.

via

My pregnant wife did not appreciate Google’s autocomplete.

via

Don’t think I’ve seen this show.

via

For the person who has everything.

via

My gym is apparently tired of people not racking their weights.

via

My cat loves me..

via

My computer wakes up the same way I do!

via

Asked my fifth graders to draw their favourite superhero. Guess I got a new favourite superhero. Quackman?

via

Where does the diverted traffic go?

via

My dog isn’t allowed on the couch. This is his solution.

via