They’re called a mermaids where I come from…

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“This year”

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How much to sing “I don’t look good naked anymore” while doing a striptease?

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Good advice.

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My girlfriend uses chopsticks to eat her Hot Cheetos.

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Need a lawyer?

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Facetiming at The Bruce Springsteen concert.

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Popo’s got a brand new eye!

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I think someone should check on that billboard.

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My sister got a new pup, he seems to be getting along with her cat.

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We can fix anything but…

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She will be sitting on this achievement for the rest of her life.

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Found in my doctor’s exam room this morning!

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Miting Thomething?

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Well played, grocery store employee.

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